Yes and no, success and failure, anxiety waiting on the cusp of every conversation. No satisfaction, no complacency, relaxation a luxury, stemming from burnout. Where does it come from, this desire to succeed, to push further and further? Satisfaction reserved for the bigger and better. Body slumping, slouching, slithering with apathy when defeat appears, sweat dripping in anxious rivers when success suggests new responsibility. Life fractured, begging reaction, never able to conclude what is better. Stagnation and ease, continued stress and success, or even a recession to less, all begging to be pursued.
Walking Contradiction
Standing up, day after day. thinking one thing and doing another. Questioning why one side showed itself to others, the other subsisting on secrecy. Unsure why one was accepted, one seen with confusion and scorn. Shaking hands, smiling, following society in an odd dance. Not truly disliking it nor feeling particularly genuine, success and failure blending together, possessing qualities worthy of praise and disdain both. In this odd riddle of life, constantly engaged in internal battle, ideals and actions never in alignment, a Question, floating about, understanding lacking on why the two facets of life sat separate and in poor harmony. Did the lack of connection exist as a societal consequence, or stem from a weakness, the kind that defines a person? The misplaced sense of duty, causing abandoned morals, replaced with practicality. An ever widening gap, conjuring up the Walking Contradiction, the ever bewildered Individual.
Scenes, running over and over in our heads, making perfect and no sense at the same time. Images, in full HD and color, spinning behind our eyes, distracting from the person in front. Words and phrases, echoing in our ears, said by people yesterday and tomorrow and a year ago, constantly following us from place to place. Dreams, stepping out of slumber, chasing us through waking hours. Ambitions, the children of dreams, driving us, forcing our hands to run over the keys, our feet over the ground, our lives over the coals. Difficulties, from past and present, dog us daily in everything we do. These turn life into a challenge, and without them life turns into nothing, into something meaningless. Should the challenge be accepted? Should life be conquered? Or should we accept the malaise, the meaningless of ease?
Thoughts of a Nation 